Peter The Fat man in a coat that won't fit
by PLC The CD
Summary: I've gotten permission from Kaiyumori to write my version of Peter cursed getting fatter while persuading his family to go camping, and with more side stories from the Griffin family and friends. HOLY CRAP! IT'S FINISHED!
1. Griffins as Griffins and Jason

**Fat man in little coat Revised version  
**  
_Disclaimer: I don't own Family Guy, a Seth MacFarlane does. He's used to be from Fox Network now patiently waiting to return. I also got permission from my friend Chris (Not Chris Griffin!) to write my version of this story.  
  
Author's notes-This will be the first Family Guy Story in a novel form, instead of a script. So please enjoy!!  
_  
"But Dad I don't want to go to a camping trip!" Meg groaned inside the dining room. "I'm invited to a party and a chance to be popular."  
  
"Come on Meg it's going to be fun," Peter persuaded. "Don't you remember the fun times we had camping together last time?"  
  
**Flashback, The Griffin family was inside the cabin minding their own business. Suddenly a doorbell rings...  
**  
"Hey the pizza's here!" Peter exclaimed as he rushed towards the door.  
  
Peter opens the door and reveals Jason from Friday the 13th movie, he growls to Peter.  
  
"Oh, you're looking for the kids? They're across the lake." Peter pointed to the direction.  
  
Jason nods and waves goodbye to Peter as he walks away.  
  
"Wow, what a nice guy." He said to himself as he closes the door.  
  
**Back today...**  
  
"Well, do you remember the day after we met him?" Meg asked.  
  
**Flashback, Jason chases the Griffin family with a machete with everybody screaming.  
**  
"Okay, I'm sorry I called your mother a whore!"  
  
**Back today...**  
  
"Well, the popular kids are just going to talk trash about you again," Peter protested.  
  
Meg stared at him, then burst into tears  
  
"My god you're right!" She cried leaving the room.  
  
"Another failed attempt being a father?" Brian asked.  
  
"I had worse Brian," He replied. "Besides I know worse fathers."  
  
"Why you little!" Homer strangles Bart.  
  
"Peter I'm concerned about your weight," Lois said as she sat next to him.  
  
"Lois, you can't blame me for being fat," He said with a smile. "You have to blame the damn Jews."  
  
"Peter don't say such terrible things to the Jews," She scolded. "Remember Max Weinstein?"  
  
"Who the hell is Max Weinstein?" Peter asked with rudeness and stupidity.  
  
"The man who helped us getting our money back," Lois replied. "Just take a look at this thought bubble."  
  
Memories of Peter's mind haunts as he saw in his own though bubble, from the day he chased Max and all the way to Las Vegas where Nuns spanked him to the Bar Mitzvah.  
  
"Oh..." Peter remembered as the bubble disappears. "So?"  
  
"So you should be nice to the Jewish people,"  
  
Peter just stared at Lois, got up and walked back slowly, then runs off.  
  
Lois sighed of frustration as she looked towards to Brian who's reading a newspaper and drinking his second glass of Martini.  
  
"What am I going to do?" She asked to Brian.  
  
"I don't know, I'm still haven't shooked off when you, Peter, and the kids turned to real griffins last week."  
  
**Flashback, the whole Griffin family showed up as real griffins and the whole house as a cave with Lois nuzzling Stewie, Chris and Meg flying, and Peter had just entered the cave.  
**  
"How's work honey?" Lois asked as she flew towards him.  
  
"Huh, well same old story," He replied as he nuzzled with Lois squawking with each other. "Guarding the treasure, killing thieves, and block the entrance."  
  
"Mom! Meg won't stop chasing me!" Chris squawked.  
  
"Well if you haven't stop crapping in my room, I wouldn't have to chase you!" She squawked back.  
  
"But the evil flying monkey is in my room!"  
  
The evil flying monkey from the Wizard Of Oz pointed evilly towards Chris, pretends to slit his throat, and flew off.  
  
"Hah! Yes I have now grown talons and claws," Stewie said to himself. "With these new mutations I could...ach! Hairball!" He starts coughing and hacking.  
  
"Peter are you trying to eat Brian again?" Lois scolded towards Peter with Brian in his mouth with him screaming for his dear life.  
  
"Spit him out..."  
  
Peter obeyed Lois and spits Brian out, his fur was torn to shreds, and had cuts and bruises.  
  
"Thank you Lois!" Brian said gasping for air.  
  
"You know he's tonight's dinner for ALL of us," She says as all the Griffin family surrounded him with smiles on their beaks.  
  
"You...Y-You bastards!" Brian said walking back slowly, and then everybody tackles Brian with him screaming.  
  
**Back today...  
**  
"I'll talk to you later, bitch." Brian said walking off angirly.  
  
_To be continued...  
  
Author's notes: This is my first Family Guy story so please be easy with me, I hope you like this. Please review after reading!_


	2. We like suuubbbbs to I choose you Pikach...

**Fat man in little coat Revised version**  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Family Guy, a Seth MacFarlane does. He's used to be from Fox Network now patiently waiting to return. I also got permission from my friend Chris (Not Chris Griffin!) to write my version of this story.  
  
_Author's notes-This will be the first Family Guy Story in a novel form, instead of a script. So please enjoy!! But the characters might be out of character so go easy on me and I also have to apologize for being such a lazy ass over the summer as we go on with chapter 2!  
_  
Peter was in a fast food restaurant with his friends for lunch as they sat in the table, after he runs away from Lois.  
  
"Crap, I felt like I ate one of everything in the menu," His said to his friends.  
  
"Peter you DID ate one of everything," Cleveland said as he pointed to his tray piled up of empty boxes and containers. "You shouldn't eat things that are harmful to your health.  
  
"I guess," Peter, said as he crammed a greasy cheeseburger in his mouth and grabs a handful of French fries drowning in ketchup. He finishes with a big swig of extra large soda.  
  
"Cleveland's right Peter," Joe added as he took a bite of his salad. "You should find ways to take care of yourself."  
  
Quagmire sipped on his vanilla ice cream shake and saw a young waitress taking out the trash.  
  
"Hey cutie, you look a bit thirsty you want to suck on my shake?" Quagmire offered. "It's filled with the white stuff."  
  
**WHAM! Quagmire was hit in the face as the waitress walked away in anger**.  
  
"I meant vanilla!"  
  
"Hey guys look! I didn't know the fast food icons eat here," Peter exclaimed as he and his friends saw various characters from the franchise of junk food.  
  
"Ronald McDonald, the Burger King kids club kids, Dave Thomas, Colonel Sanders, the Taco Bell Chihuahua, Jack, Jared getting a salad, the Arby's oven mitt, and...holy crap!"  
  
Everyone turned his head away as the Quizno sub rats passed their tables. Sweat trickles down to their faces as they sat into a table next to them.  
  
"Dude, those guys always creep me out!" Quagmire whispered sharply.  
  
"Let's hurry up and leave," Joe said as they cleared them out.  
  
**Meanwhile back at the Griffin house...  
**  
"Hey Chris, have you ever noticed that we don't have an adventure on our own?" Meg asked him in the living room.  
  
"Yeah, we should start right now," He declared. "Just like Mickey and Minnie Mouse!"  
  
"Chris, Mickey and Minnie are a love couple," Meg corrected.  
  
_**Chris stares at her for a few long seconds until...**_  
  
"OH MY GOD! I'M IN LOVE WITH MY SISTER IN A INCESTUOUS WAY!" Chris screamed with panic running away upstairs.  
  
"What was that all about?" Brian asked as he entered the room.  
  
"He thinks we're in love as incest," She replied.  
  
"Eww...I hate to see that for real," He shuddered with disgust.  
  
"Hey where's mom?" Meg asked.  
  
"She's in the kitchen with Stewie," He replied.  
  
**In the kitchen...  
**  
"Damn you vile woman!" Stewie squirmed trying to free from his grasp from Lois.  
  
"Sweetie if you don't stop squirming, I won't let you see an episode of Pokemon," Lois scolded gently.  
  
"How dare you wench!" He gasped and retaliated in anger. "For a show that capture innocent creatures, forcing them into rigorous training, and making them battle into a gladiatorial death."  
  
_**In the Pokemon world, the coliseum was shown similar to the Roman times; thousands of people cheering, and Ash with his countless (And I mean countless) friends and enemies in toga costumes...  
**_  
"Emperor Ash Ketchum, we are only here to fight and serve to you to the death!" Pikachu cried out in a squeaking voice with his/her Pokemon allies in armor saluted to him.  
  
"Very well, release the...whatever those Pokemon are called because our cartoon show was running out of ideas and was given countless repetitive episodes that were almost the same thing, and we are a pathetic excuse for a anime, and attack!"  
  
All the Pokemon let out a huge battle cry as they fought to the bloody death until Pikachu was struck down, Ash saw him in total shock...  
  
"Stop the fight! Stop the fight!" Ash shouted out as the battle ended in an abrupt halt as he run towards Pikachu who was lying on the ground motionless.  
  
"Please Pikachu, don't die!" He said as he hugged Pikachu tight in his arms. "Remember the time we first met, and we trained together as friends?"  
  
"How can I forget?" Pikachu replied in a weak voice. "I still can't forget the day when we had bisexual bestiality orgy with our friends."  
  
"Please Pikachu..."  
  
"I love you..." Pikachu's head slumped and there were silence, tears began to roll down on Ash's face.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!"  
  
**Five hours later...**  
  
"NOOOOOOOO!" **SMACK!  
**  
Ash's cry of despair was interrupted as a truck out of nowhere and hit Ash.  
  
"Well, at least that's over..." Sailor Moon said.  
  
**Back with Peter and his friends...  
**  
"Hey what's that?" Cleveland wondered as they stopped dead in their tracks.  
  
"It looks like a coat," Peter answered. "And it's new too!"  
  
"Then whose coat is this?" Quagmire asked.  
  
"Let's put it in a lost and found," Joe suggested.  
  
"HALT, THIS IS THE MIGHTY COAT OF POWER." A mysterious voice boomed out. "FOR I AM THE SPIRIT OF DARKNESS!"  
  
"Wait a minute if you're the spirit of darkness, then what are you doing here in the light of day?" Peter said with his friends nodding in agreement.  
  
"JUST FOLLOW THE SCRIPT," The voice said in annoyance.  
  
_To be continued...  
  
To my friend Chris and the readers: Sorry it took so long and ended in another cliffhanger and I hope I did it right this time! Please E-mail me back!_


	3. THat's it?

**Fat man in little coat Revised version**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Family Guy, a Seth MacFarlane does. He's used to be from Fox Network now patiently waiting to return. I also got permission from my friend Chris (Not Chris Griffin!) to write my version of this story._

_Author's notes-Finally! Chapter three is here everybody, and I can't wait for new episodes on May 1st! Sorry for the long update but here's the third chapter!_

"Anyway," The Spirit of Darkness said. "The mighty coat of power will give you…well…power!"

"Uh-oh!" Peter exclaimed. "It has the power to turn me gay right? No thanks, I'm a married man, and to hell I'm going to turn to those flamboyant pansies, and I'm very much comfortable with my masculinity."

"Peter, not all gays are feminine you know." Cleveland corrected.

"Well…especially for the suicidal ones…" Quagmire stated.

"Well guys," Joe said. "At least we're not going to an crazy adventure like last time."

Flashback 

_Peter, Quagmire, Cleveland, and Joe are trotting down the Yellow Brick Road. Peter is wearing a blue and white dress; he is wearing braided pigtails down to his shoulders, and is carrying six-pack bottles of beer. Quagmire is the Tin Man who's carrying a porn magazine. Cleveland resembles the Cowardly Lion; with the exception he is a Black Panther I.E a Black Panther Part member. And finally, Joe is the scarecrow and is still in the wheelchair but his legs are missing._

"_We're off to see the wizard! The freaking wizard of oz!" They all sang_

Present day 

"Will you let me finish?" Said The Spirit impatiently. "I mean any person who wears the coat, gets anything they want!"

"But who's going to wear the coat?" Cleveland asked. "There are four of us."

"Don't worry fellas," Peter announced. "I got this problem solved."

He pulls a six-shooter from his pants and cocks the hammer as everyone gasped and EVERYONE gasped!

"Russian Roulette!"

"Peter, not this again!" exclaimed Quagmire as the rest backed off.

"Uh-uh-uh! My rules!" Peter said. "You go first." He gives the gun to him. "Wait a minute…"

Then he points the gun to his head…"**I **go first!"

"Hold it! No one's killing anybody!" Declared the Spirit. "There's only one way, to solve this…"

Everyone stared at him with complete anticipation…

"Wheel of Fortune!" He shouted as he spins the wheel, with each tile had the face of the four men.

As the tile spins faster, the arrow slows down, and points to Peter.

"AHHH Freakin' Yes! I won!" Peter cheered as he laughs nasally.

"Here you go," The Spirit gave the coat to Peter but by the time he wore it, it was too small for him…

"Hey! This coat is way to small for me!" Peter said disgustedly. "I felt insulted, in fact I've never been insulted since that Black show on Comedy Central."

Flashback 

Peter and the Family are watching The Dave Chappelle Show on Comedy Central, everyone laughed except Peter as they watched.

"I can't believe my family are watching this crap," Peter said to himself. "I'm going to complain!"

He walks up to the phone and dials the number the phone, the phone was picked up by no other than Lil' Jon.

"Hello Comedy Central?" Peter asked.

"WHAT!" Shouted Lil' Jon.

"Hello Comedy Central?" Peter asked.

"WHAT!" Shouted Lil' Jon.

"Hello Comedy Central?" Peter asked.

"WHAT!" Shouted Lil' Jon.

"Hello Comedy Central?"

"WHAT!"

"Hello Comedy Central?"

"WHAT!"

"Hello Comedy Central?"

"WHAT!"

Two weeks later… 

Peter is now seen groggy and dirty with his hair mussed up. Five O' Clock shadow runs down to his face, as he shakes back and forth from exhaustion.

"Hello, Comedy Central?" Peter asked weakly.

"WHAT!" shouted Lil' Jon, still energetic and not sounding hoarse at all.

"Never mind," Peter answered.

"OKAY!"

**Present Day**

"Look this coat has magic properties, looked what it did to the Numa-Numa guy! C'mon make a wish…" Persuaded the spirit.

"Well, okay…well I'd like some corn dogs…" Peter answered.

"That's it? That's outrages me! " The spirit said in disgust. "I've never been this disgusted in the long time since I've paid to watch Gigli…"

Everyone shudders on cue…

"Well, what did you expect?" Peter replied. "I am starving you know and I think I'm dying of starvation…"

Joe, Quagmire, and Cleveland snickered under their breaths.

"Fine, fine," The spirit said. "And just to let you feel better, I'm just going to give you a mild curse because of it."

A corn dog suddenly appeared on Peter's feet, and he immediately picked it up and starts eating it.

"So, what is the curse?" Peter asked.

"You'll find out soon," The spirit answered. "I got to go now, apparently some Half-Dog Demon got impaled to a tree."

The spirit disappears like the mysterious spirit he is…

"He's probably some damn Jewish guy," Peter muttered…

**Meanwhile…**

"What's wrong Max?" One of Max Weinstein's friends asked.

"Oh nothing, can you hold on a second?" He replied.

He pulled down a window and yelled…

"HEY I'VE HEARD THAT!"

Peter and his friends ran off…

Few days later, Peter with his family and friends were at a campfire.

"Did you find out what the curse was Peter?" Lois asked.

"Nah, I haven't found out," Peter replied. "Anyway…gather everyone up!"

His friends and family all looks forward at Peter the big fat oaf.

"Hey guys, look what I can do!"

Peter pulled down his pants and farted real loud at the campfire…

KABOOM!

The world exploded…

**The End**

_Author's note: Yeah, some of you were disappointed at the ending…like "all of this time for this?"_

_Well what can I say? I'm a lazy ass…_


End file.
